Keeping Left

Inspired by Ivory Towers and her completely sensible common sense rules, I too would like to rant about keeping left.

Firstly, just because you're turning right in three suburbs and the road is a bit busy doesn't mean you should cut me off to get into the right lane and then sit at least 15 kms under the speed limit til you get to your turn off. Then when you get there you don't indicate until you're already in the turning lane in which case I've already worked out you're turning right and have had to slam on my brakes because you started slowing down (even more) for apparently no reason at all because you didn't indicate in a timely manner.... but that's another story.

Secondly, if you're a guy and you're walking up the right hand side of the stairs at the pub and a girl is coming down on the left don't just think you can barge into her or make her deviate from her (correct) course just because you couldn't be fucked moving out of the way. For crying out loud!! How rude can Australian males get? In a more civilised society a gentleman would move the fuck out of the way for a lady, doff his hat and say good evening before moving on. And yes, if you do this, I will stare you down and say in a loud and drunken voice "We drive on the left hand side of the road in Australia, mate." At which point you can clock me one (because you're a sexist arsehole that clearly has no respect for women, so what's stopping you from smacking one?) or you can go around me. In a perfect world, you would apologise for your impropriety and go around but then in a perfect world the incident would not have occurred in the first place.

Thirdly, don't fuckin' stand in a walk way and have a chat without expecting people to bump you to get past. And don't give me a dirty look when I do bump you cos you're the fucker standing in my way.