Love actually...

Sigh! I just read auburn's post. AND I’ve been thinking about love a lot lately.

Two reasons.

1. My Ex

I love him. I think I will always love him. But I am not in love with him. He’s in love with me. You probably think I’m full of myself because I said that but I know that he is. It’s scary. It’s really scary because I know how it feels to love someone who doesn’t love you. 18 months ago I was in love with him and even though we were ‘together’ I don’t think he really loved me. Or if he did he had a terrible way of showing it. And now in true ‘A&C’ style our roles are reversed.

He’s always looking at me in that way. You know what I mean. He bought me a bottle of Estee Lauder (my favourite) Beyond Paradise for Christmas, He didn’t give it to me himself. He wrapped it up so it didn’t look like a bit like a bottle of perfume wrapped at David Jones by the lady at the Estee Lauder counter, jumped the fence of my apartment complex, knocked on my door, left the package on my step and ran off before I could answer the door.

Last night he gave me this.



It’s an Oroton handbag (also a favourite.) I’m guessing it cost him about $300.

THAT’S A SERIOUS FUCKING PRESENT!!!!!!

I’m not saying all this to boast. I’m fucking freaked out by it but it also warms my soul. I’m flattered and I’m so sad for him. I just want him to be happy but I know I can’t make him happy.

2. D

My new man. Surprisingly (not) enough, its not the sexy motorbike guy (cos they’re always the ones you want to take home to your mum) it’s the sexy copper. D.

He’s wonderful! He’s hot! He’s so much fun. Yay!

He took me to Sydney the day after Boxing Day and showed me around his stomping ground. We spent pretty much three whole days together. I had so much fun. He really made me feel special.

He drove down to Newcastle on New Years after he finished work at 4am. He called in ’sick’ Sunday night and left about lunch time Monday. We didn’t sleep much.

I’m soooo crazy about him!

How can you tell?

Did I go on and on about how wonderful the sex is?

Wow! I must really respect him as a person.

Hahaha!

P.S. The sex is fucking amazing!!!!

Anyway.... auburn's post made me think... not because I've fallen for D but because I remembered the feeling I got when I first saw him. I haven't told this story yet.

I was walking through the crowd upstairs at the brewery and he slapped me on the ass!! No! Stop. Wait. He didn't mean to. He was just talking and kinda moved his arm for emphasis and it found my ass as I was walking past. And I was like 'wtf?!' and he was like 'I'm sooooooo sorry! I didn't mean to!' I was like 'whatever!' and walked away...

Then I thought 'he was kinda cute. I'm going to go back and talk to him.' So I did!

How fucking amazing is that?! It's like one of those windows in your life where you can look back and think 'How crap would it be if I hadn't made that decision?'

Life.