I have a serious problem

I'm not sure what is worse... my complete disregard for my aparently spending ban or my obsession with the opposite sex.

Cute boy at work still interests me. Aidan and I had a 'share-all' intimite moment on Sunday night that really scares me. I still want to have sex with RAAF boy.

Ok so my life is complex.... well really not that complex. Also while I'm obsessing over boys I'm not working on the assignment that's due at 4pm today that I have started... researching... just. Also getting a crush on boy in my class. Hmmm....

I think I'm being affected by Spring. Let's blame the seasons shall we...

*The weather is gorgeous so I hate being cooped up inside.
*I feel really good about myself for the first time in a really long time.
*I just want to have fun.
*My thoughts are really scattered. I can't focus on any given task.
*I haven't been this boy crazy since I was about 14.
*My taken or hung-up-on-their-ex friends are not helping me.
*Vogue girls better get smashed with me Friday cos I took the day off.

Ok that was more my thoughts in point form.

I really want a guy in my life who I'm sexually attracted to but who also likes to chat with me. I like being with a guy who listens to my incessant chatter and thinks its cute - not stares at me like I'm crazy a la RAAF boy. (Yes I still hate using his name.) I want a guy who I can talk to about Buffy and books and sexual politics but who will also understand if I want to go out with my girls and get completely fucked up. I want a guy who'll fuck me like I'm a naughty girl.

*sigh*

Forum Games!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: I have in the past answered to Piggy, Gonk and Candy

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: superluminous, stella and candice

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: my shoulders, my eyes and my health

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I'm slowly ruining my feet with high heals and points, skin is too oily on my face and too freckly/uneven on my body and, like every girl in the world, I have pockets of fat that I wish would redistribute some where else.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: Scottish, French and Irish

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: Plumbing (don't ask), roaches and being lost.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: Lip balm, coffee, shoes!

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: my distressed S&Bs that I never take off, my watch (b'day present from my ex) and my glasses cos I need them to see.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS: hmmm.... atm: Moloko, the Departures and Hawthorn Heights

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS: All Mapped Out - The Departures, Niki FM - Hawthorn Heights and Chairman of the Board - Motor Ace

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: Great sex (duh), good conversation and heaps and heaps of trust.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU: athletic but not body-builder-buff, great lips and... well... I've been talking WAY to much about size lately :D

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: Shopping, shopping online and shopping from catalogues (hehehe, ok you're right that's just one hobby) I would also say forum browsing and reading novels/magazines/anything I can get my hands on.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: Talk to my friends, go to the beach, sit back and just relax and as usual... have sex!

THREE CAREERS YOU'VE CONSIDERED: Lawyer (when I was 12), Journalist (in high school) and magazine editor (in my wildest fantasies)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAY: UK (to visit my bestie- oh how I miss you), Thailand (to sit on the beach) and Egypt/Macedonia/Greece just so I feel some ancient pride for history and humanity

THREE KIDS' NAMES YOU LIKE: Alexandra, Hayden, Maeve

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: change something about the world and make it better, go on a huge holiday overseas and hand something in on time.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY: Horny as one, don't mind a coldie and love a good steak!

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK: Love shopping esp. shoe shopping, love make-up and can't stand a dirty bathroom

THREE CELEB CRUSHES: David Boreanaz (from his skinny Angel on Buffy days), Orlando Bloom and Colin Farrell

All men are cocks... but not all of them have big ones

This is a first draft:
It's fucking easy for you to say it's just for tonight. It's easy to say you have no feelings for me. It's easy to say it's only physical attraction drawing us together. Well I say 'only'?

Physical attraction is the most powerful force I've ever experienced. The constant need and drive for physical contact is something that makes us human.

The insanity of meshing out lips together; frantically trying to consume each other; constantly touching, caressing, fucking; it's obsessive compulsive when we're together.

Trying to make you smile and the triumph of seeing me succeed. I strive to feel happy and careless but I'm consumed by insecurities, fallibilities, responsibilities.

I don't like being this anxious person you have created. Waiting by the phone, all the joy has seeped out of the world when you're not around. I didn't ask to want you. I didn't ask to be caught up in a game of playing it cool and trying to express my desire.

I just strive for a tiny moment of bliss in my day. I don't care if it's flowers on my bed, a phone call to say 'hi' or fucking diamonds. Just give me some kind of sign that you want me back.

I really just want to get fucked.

BEWARE! The following may contain messy details

Ok, so we were out a Finnegans.... I was getting pretty smashed due to cocktails at Holly's at 6pm!!! This group of guys was trying it on with us and I was all mouthy and not having a bar of it. Aparently... (I don't remember this) but the hot one (of the group) came over to me and I was all "see ya, I'm going to the bathroom" :D can you imagine me doing that?! ;)
Anyway, later I was doing a lap of Halo bar and he was sitting at a table with his mates. I sat down and started chatting to him.... At this point can I just say... he is fucking hot! Like one of the hottest guys I've ever been with!!!! Anyway, turns out he's 20 (ha! i kicked ass with the cradle snatching) and he's training to be a fighter pilot at the RAAF. He's only in Newcastle for a couple of weeks cos he's gotta go to Tamworth to complete his training (so hopefully I'm meeting up with him later today) He came out straight with that and I was like "yeah? and?" hehehe
So I pashed him and we chatted and pashed some more and then I decided I was sober enough to take him home.
And can I just say....
OH
MY
GOD!
Biggest cock ever! and fucking awesome at using it. and fucking awesome at a whole heap of other naughty shit! and he's only 20!!!
And the next morning I asked him if he wanted to see me again and straight away he said yes!! So he left his number.
I've been playing it cool all week but obviously really keen on getting together with him before he left. Friday night I had off work cos of system upgrades so I was real keen for it but he got totally trashed and blew me off. :(
Then he msged me yesterday and apologised and I was like tonight? but I went to dinner for Juddy's b'day and he fell asleep before I could go get him from the base :( so trying for today but we'll see. he's pretty disorganised. wish me luck!
Oh! and he grew up in nz and he has this totally hot accent! i know i know nz accents not that great but believe me.. he sounds fucking sexy on the phone.