10 Reason’s Why I’ve been the slackest blogger ever

1. Free dial up has run out and stupid ex boyfriend hasn’t finished fixing my PC so I can set up the broadband I signed up for in January. Stupid!
2. I called in sick all of last week so I could tool about with my wonderful boyfriend. So was in Sydney til last Wednesday with no internet access. Stupid!
3... I don’t really have any more reasons that pretty much it. But I’ll do a summary of what’s been happening.

*Last Friday went to Sydney to see Sexy Police Boyfriend (SPB – decided I needed to get more creative with the naming). *grins* We had sex in the copshop again... twice... Yay for night shift – no one is around... well hardly anyone. We almost got busted but tis all good. (Side note: I have never been busted mid-fuck ever! I have a six sense.)On Saturday we completely wasted the day by sleeping/fucking/sleeping/fucking/eating/fucking/sleeping then SPB went to work and I went to my friend’s friend’s house. I would just like to take the time to go on about how much fun I have with this lassy. She’s the best. She went back to Ireland (working visa – Lassy is an Aussie) on Saturday just gone so now I’m a little sad.
Anyway, us girls went out and I got quite jovial. Pub crawled a bit but it got to about 2am and I’d had enough. SPB came and got me from the city in his Sexy Police Car (SPC) and we drove around for a bit going to ‘jobs’, running red lights and driving at speeds exceeding 180km/h. (This will get him into soooo much trouble so no dobbing.) Oh and he breathalysed me and I was 0.18 which is more than 3 times the legal limit. I said “Lucky I’m not driving.” Haha! I wanted to have sex on SPC bonnet but SPB was sensible and took me in SPC and put me to bed.
*Sunday was another sleeping/fucking/sleeping/fucking/eating/fucking/sleeping day.
*Monday was also sleeping/fucking/sleeping/fucking/eating/fucking/sleeping punctuated by a trip to the beach.
*Tuesday was ignored as being the 'much hated Valentine’s Day' and we went to lunch instead. No presents.
*Wednesday I got messy drunk and don’t remember much after the finish of Australia’s Next Top Model – which I believe to be the cause of my binge drinking. I would like to take the time to point out my confusion as to how stupid/bitchy/annoying/whiney/buck-toothed/man-shaped wraiths get to be contenders for a reality TV show on Australia’s modelling industry... actually... never mind.
*Thursday hung out with Lassy. Drank cocktails, ate dinner and went to bed.
*Friday watched DVDs with The Ex. Made the Best Pizzas Ever (BPE) – anchovies, olives and soooooooo much cheese.
*Saturday hung out with my flat mate for the first time in ages. A few quiet drinks and chatted about random things through whatever crap was playing on TV that night. The Ex came to get me and we went to see Bodyjar in concert. Best Show Ever!!! (BSE) No slow songs. Just sweaty teenagers and us old folk jumping around tipsy. Went back to the boys’ house and kicked a soccer ball around between sips of vodka and orange. I love being one of the boys sometimes. Don’t remember getting home just that I was found drooling on someone’s pillow and when I was dropped home had to be helped inside my own house.
*Sunday slept til 3pm, showered at 5pm, SPB showed up after work with ice creams (as requested) at about 9pm and was pretty much a repeat of last Sunday.
*Uni today. First day back. Had to get up at 7am. OUCH!
*Coffee!!!!!

10 Reasons Why (Part 2)

10 reasons why life is good right now:

1. Chocolate

2. Great sex

3. Vodka

4. Friends

5. Possibilities

6. Laughter

7. Moments of comfortable silence

8. Late lunches

9. Great hair

10. SHOES!!!!!!!!!

10 Reasons Why (Part 1)

10 Reasons why my boyfriend is better in bed than my ex:

1. He makes me wet
2. He makes me come
3. He follows instructions well
4. He goes down on me more than once a year
5. He has sex with me even I'm on my period
6. When I say I don't like something he doesn't try to argue with me or say "But other girls liked it..."
7. I only have to tell him something once and he remembers (ok this is handy in every aspect of our relationship)
8. He stops when I say "ow, that hurts"
9. We do it in more than one position per session
10. We do it more than once a week and its not just cos he's drunk.

Should I spend my last $300

On my mobile bill now topping $220...
*They won't cut my service off for at least another month
*I get paid again in 6 days (with overtime)
*When do I ever make the responsible decision?

Or

On the Kate Hurst Sale. Up to 70% off.
*I'll be in Sydney for the last two hours of the sale
*It's really just as easy to drive straight to the city then to the Inner West after my money is all gone.
*I like everything in the Spring/Summer Collection...

And the winner is.......

If Only It Would All Fall Away

This is revised from a few months ago. This is what I didn't hand in last semester at uni but should have. I still think its good...

We lie together in the dark, shoulders barely touching with his mouth close to my ear.

“Do you know what happened today? When I was driving to see you? The sky looked so grey. It blended with the road into a path of emptiness that disappeared on the horizon like rain. It made the trees seem so green. It was like a dream… Do you still dream about me?”

“All the time,” I felt him smile.
I didn’t smile back. I ached to say I dreamt about him but I would have been lying. He didn’t ask.

You are not in control. You are not in control. I thought.

Curiousness slides down the back of my throat; slippery and wet.

“What do you dream?”

He doesn’t answer. Thank god.

What am I supposed to think and do and feel right now?

His presence gives me scant comfort and his arm wrapped around my waist feels fake.
I practice. I try to remember those feelings from way back but it falls away like sand through my fingers.

****

I watch him as we stand in the shower. With water running over his face, he looks like he should be my boyfriend. I wish I knew him.

His lips purse, pushing water away from his mouth as he takes a breath, always half smiling. The skin on his shoulders is tanned but the colour gently diminishes into the paler flesh on his tight arse. I felt an inaudible moan escape my parted lips.

He catches me watching him and I grin.

"What?"

He doesn't answer. I always like this game.

I push his lips against mine and the sound of water gushing over us falls away into the distance.

****

We’re in my bedroom together again. It’s always untidy. After all this time it seems so unnatural. I can’t let him touch me.

“What’s all this about?” He asks with a vague gesture.

What’s the worst that I can say?

“I don’t really know. It’s like… I can’t decide.”

Tell me everything turned out alright.

His hands cup my shoulders protectively, reflexively. I watch him watching me in the mirror. I smile self-consciously.

Chaos is stinking

****

“There’s condensation on the windows,” I observe lightly.
“Yeah, from the shower,”
“Oh, yeah, the shower,” I try to sound only slightly disappointed.
He laughs at me. I don’t mind.

I kneel over him as he lies on the bed. Our faces close together; our eyes searching for meaning in each other. I lean in and kiss him hard, pushing myself down against him, letting his hands slide down my back.

Enveloped in kisses everything else is forgotten.

****

Inane drivel down the phone again. I need an excuse to say goodbye. What the hell are you trying to say to me? Is it that hard to understand I’m not in love with you anymore?

“Yes, of course I need looking after.”
“Yes, you’re my best friend too.”
“No, I promise I’ll get out of bed and go to uni today.”
“Thanks. It’s good to know you care.”
“Bye.”
I feel nothing but relief.

****
I lean back and let him inside me. He pulls me closer and closer.

“You’re shaking”
“You make me breathless,” I whisper as his hand curls around my thigh pulling me closer and closer.

I stretch. My back arches. There is nothing else. The two of us on his bed. Closer and closer.

The world finally falls away.

****

The car responds to my foot on the accelerator; pushing hard to reach somewhere. I don't know why I'm rushing.

Dreaming from another time

We were naked in the shower. He was facing away from me. I was standing above him with the top of his head level with my mouth. I could feel our bare skin pressed together. I could feel the water running over us and between us.

My arms were draped around his shoulders. I could feel myself getting aroused. I kept pressing myself against his back. He turned to face me and we kissed for a long time. When we stopped I looked into his eyes and then went to kiss him again. He said “we shouldn’t” I said “it’s too late”.

Time passed and shifted and we were no longer in the shower. We stood together in a crowded room, still kissing but fully clothed. The room was large with many doorways on each wall.

He pulled away and said “I shouldn’t” I smiled sadly and said “I know”.

We slipped through a door into a dark, empty hallway. He stood over me as I leant back against the wall. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. His hand grasped the back of my neck and pulled me towards him in another deep kiss. Pushing hard against me and simultaneously pulling me closer, his kisses became more frantic.

He pulled away and looked hard into my eyes for a long time before disappearing into the dark.